Don't make out with my wife yet
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
