Please don't use social media to get back at me.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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