I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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