Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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