they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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