if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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