He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
