i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
