I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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