So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
