It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
