I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
