I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
