the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize