On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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