What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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