I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
