I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize