We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I have fence marks all over my body
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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