You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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