We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
