i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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