flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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