I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
party gras won. party gras always wins.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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