you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
