I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
