I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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