Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
