I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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