Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
