u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
