I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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