Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
