Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(252): View more from North Carolina

just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting

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(516): View more from New York

I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people

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(585): View more from New York

I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.

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(353): View more from

The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend

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(703): View more from Virginia

The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker

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(903): View more from Texas

Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test

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