aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
