I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
