Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
