Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
