I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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