I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
