you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
