Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
