Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
