Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
