I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
