# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
