i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
