I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
