Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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