I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
