Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
