my shit smells like andre
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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