either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Randomize