The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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