wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
