I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
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