Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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