you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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