What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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