if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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