best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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