Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
