so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
