I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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