so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
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If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
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He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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