he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
