I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
